I've just awakened from the most wonderful dream. Or, perhaps, I've had an awakening because of a wonderful dream... In my dream, I was lying in bed sleeping and God was singing to me. He/She was singing the words in the chorus of Little Big Town's, "Bring It On Home". I awoke feeling so loved and comforted. Here are the lyrics:
You've got someone here
Wants to make it all right
Someone to love you more
Than I have right here
You've gotta bring it on and I'll hold you tight
A hand to lead you on through the night right here
I know your heart can get
All tangled up inside
But don't you keep it to yourself
When your long day is over
And you can barely drag your feet
When the weight of the world
Is on your shoulders
I know what you need
Bring it on home to me
You know I know you
Like the back of my hand
You know I'm gonna do
All that I can right here
Gonna lie with you
Till you fall asleep
When the morning comes
I'm still gonna be right here
Yes, I am
(Ooooooooooooo)
So take your worries and
Just drop them at the door
Baby, leave it all behind
When your long day is over
And you can barely drag your feet
When the weight of the world
Is on your shoulders
I know what you need
Bring it on home to me
Baby, let me be your safe harbor
Don't let the water come
And carry you away
When your long day is over
And you can barely drag your feet
When the weight of the world
Is on your shoulders
I know what you need
Bring it on home to me
Oh, bring it on home
Oh, bring it on home to me
Home to me
Oh, bring it on, bring it on home
to me
You've got someone here wants
To make it all right
Someone who loves you more
Than life right here
I plan to purchase this CD as soon as I can. It has to be significant when God sings to a person. Or maybe God is always singing, and I had to be asleep to hear it.
Yesterday, I was talking to my friend, Amy, about privacy versus secrecy. I have heard a saying in my traveling circles, "You are only as sick as your secrets." My mom always says that we need to get secrets out in the open so God's light can shine on them and reveal the Truth. Obviously, I don't have many secrets. I broadcast my life on a blog. But, I do have things that are private... Things I only share with close friends. Other things I share, people probably wish I only shared them with close friends! I'm usually just right out there.
The secrets I harbor are the ones in my thoughts most of the time... These are the things I usually feel guilty for thinking. Sometimes my thoughts can start feelings that run off in all directions. Most of the time, it stops there, but sometimes it flows out of my mouth to others. I do believe all of the Biblical references with regard to the power of the tongue. Jesus said something to the effect of: It is not what you put into your mouth that defiles you (referencing eating certain foods considered unclean), but what comes out of it in the form of words.
Even more than that, though, my thoughts can make me crazy... Those secret desires, secret resentments, secret shameful ponderings... Most of the time, I just share them with the people I trust in my life. But, I need to make sure I'm going God daily with these secrets. Afterall, He/She knows anyway... "When your long day is over, and you can barely drag your feet; the weight of the world is on your shoulders. I know what you need. Bring it on home to me." O.K. Thanks, God.
~Namaste'~
2 comments:
Christy,
I was struck by your friend Amy’s comment that “you are only as sick as your secrets.” There’s something to that. But I’m not sure we always know what our secrets are. Or maybe I mean there are sometimes secrets behind the secrets. (Think of how often a confession of a secret is actually driven by a secret motive.)
Like many bloggers, I guess, what I write here is a small part of a much larger journal – one I’ve kept for decades. When I read back over it, I see how often I did not know what my heart or psychology or spirit (I never know which of these words is best) was up to. I thought I was making one set of choices when, in fact, I was making another. It is still sometimes difficult to accept that I can be so much of a mystery to myself.
This all came to mind when I read of your interest in ministry and about your rule regarding things you hear three times. It seems you are listening for patterns in your life, patterns in the movements or your unconscious, in the constellations of chance, in the stirrings of spirit. Maybe that’s what being an educator (which means also being a student) amounts to: you bring yourself and other into an awareness of the larger patterns of existence.
If that’s so, perhaps the best relationship to secrets is not necessarily to confess them (after all, if we are helpless to grasp the secret behind the secret, we’ll never actually manage to get it into the open – Dostoevsky is masterful at exploring the duplicity of confession, and so are Poe and Rousseau. And if you want a terrifying example of self-clarity carried to the point of self-destruction, glance at Sylvia Plath’s unabridged journals. I have a copy beside my bed, and I am stunned on almost every page) but, rather, to keep listening to what they whisper.
My favorite 20th century Christian theologian is Paul Tillich (though I read a good deal of Merton as well). He says that “God” is another name for ultimate concern. If we want to know what kind of people we are at the core, consider the things we care about.
Regardless of how you might surprise yourself (whether with delight or disappointment), what you care about on these pages are the things that ought to matter.
Oh – and you’re right about those puppets.
Chris,
My life has been very much about "knowing what my secrets are". Most of the time, I believe I know, but I can't deny the feeling of butterflies I got when you wrote about exploring the duplicity of confession. I think I will get Sylvia Plath's work. The quote from your blog in which she uncovers the frightened smiling face people carry, only wanting to feel important and loved... Well, I think it speaks for itself. Perhaps that is simply what we all want. Einstein wanted to know the mind of God. I suppose that in exposing our secrets and our vulnerabilities to one another, we are seeking to know the heart of God (ultimate concern).
I hope your trip to Ireland is absolutely wonderful. I look forward to reading about it when you return.
Namaste'
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