Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Raving Against Stupidity

I should be working on my National Boards... I mean, I REALLY should be working on my National Boards, but instead I am sitting in the hospital with Sar, finding that I need to vent. I really just want to go home. After all, I can procrastinate on my boards just as well there... Heck, I am an even better procrastinator at home and sometimes things get done like the cleaning of my refrigerator.

For those who don't know, National Boards is a process in which I write 4 entries and submit 2 video tapes demonstrating my exemplary knowledge as an educator. It is quite a prestigious achievement... It is quite a learning and growing process as a teacher. Actually it is quite a crock, but I get a pay increase of $6000 a year for the next 10 years. Further, my license will be good for 10 years if I can pass. So, given that Dan will be turning 16 and a car will probably have to figure somewhere into that equation, the extra money will be helpful for our family. And, I have always been able to wax poetic when need be... But, I am finding myself uninspired. Still the entire thing is due March 31, so I am hoping for some sort of Divine Inspiration, or at a minimum that my ego kicks in with my "I have to be perfect at everything I do, and I absolutely can not fail at anything." However, thus far, I am finding that I could just care less about it.

The thing I do find myself caring about is being stuck in the hospital again. Sarah went to CF Clinic on Monday to find that her pulmonary functions were down again. Also, she had lost 2 lbs. When her little body only weighs 80 lbs. to start with, 2 lbs. really makes a difference. So, Dr. Sindel determined that she needed to be hospitalized to have a CT scan of her lungs and a bronchioscopy to determine what lingering germs are creating this recurrent sickness. She had the scan yesterday which showed a few pockets of thick mucus primarily in her right lung. So, this morning, Dr. Sindel went in and took samples from her right lung, and sent them off to the lab to see what bacteria grows. He also washed her lungs and injected Pulmozyme directly into the places that were clogged. The procedure seemed to go smoothly and Sarah is currently recovering well.

But, we did hit a rocky period. Demerol makes Sar nauseous. So, after we returned to the room, she began feeling queasy. We called for Sophran (an anti-nausea medicine), but our nurse had mysteriously disappeared off the face of the planet. She also began complaining of a headache. So, I asked that she be given some Tylenol. Well, you would think I had asked for a shot of Heroin. The nurses kept saying, "Well, she just took 600 mg of Motrin". To which I replied, "Yes, which she takes every day of her life twice a day; thus, it has absolutely no effect whatsoever on a headache."

Then in breezes the resident (the oncall doctor), who is not at the top of my list since she came in and woke me up at 12:20 a.m. to ask me the same questions that I had previously filled out on the nurse's form upon admisssion. She walked in as Sarah is vomiting into a pink bucket and asked, "How's it going?" Now, I may not be a doctor, but I think this qualifies as an extremely stupid question given the gravity of the situation... Only after her second episode of vomiting did a nurse come give her Sophran. She never did get any Tylenol.

Finally, though, she is feeling better and felt well enough to eat lunch at 3:00 pm. Being in the hospital is an incredibly frustrating because I really believe that I can do a better job at home. Granted, I can't do a CT scan or a bronchioscopy, but other than that, I could do the rest myself... And, we would be in the comfort of our own home without people poking their head in every 15 minutes. Napping is impossible in the hospital. When people call or send of message that says, "Get some rest", I know for sure that they have never stayed here. Home equals rest. Hospital equals aggravation and illness. I guess it is just the focus. And, I am really trying to stay centered and focused. "Wherever we are, God is and all is well." I know this. But, I can move knowledge from my head to my heart better when I am not really tired and aggravated with people asking me dumb questions.

Anyway, I have used this blog experience to procrastinate long enough... Back to Sar, and the park, and putting off National Boards for a little while longer.