Comfort

I'm sitting in the hospital listening to the gurgling sound of the oxygen coming from the wall. Dan is resting, and I am relatively content and at peace. Initially, I was planning to come home today, but I decided to stay an extra day when the doctor came in with news of the "events" of the day. Danielle had a special Pulmonary Function Test (PFT) in the "Box", and they also wanted to do an Arterial Blood-Gas Test (ABG). So, I'm glad I was here for all of that.

Dan gets so freaked by needles because her veins have been terrible for years and she has had a lot of trauma with getting stuck over and over. I try to help her remain calm, but sometimes Fear just grips her and there isn't much I can say to help... But, I'm here. And, I don't leave her because, while I completely understand feeling afraid since I have such an intimate relationship with the emotion lately, I don't like Fear being allowed to snuggle in next to my kid... It can come and terrorize me. Whatever... But, I want Fear to leave my girl alone. "You can't have her! She already has CF. She doesn't need you, Fear, cozying up and making a home in her..."

So, I stay... And, I try to bring Peace, our sometimes fleeting friend. Sometimes, I try to invite Humor, who will appear readily and unexpectedly. But, most of all, I just try to bring Comfort. Sometimes I'm lucky because Comfort stays with me often, and I am able to send her out in times of strife. She is able to hold hands, stroke hair, bring wet wash cloths, and look into eyes. She has empathy and compassion for Fear. She also is able to co-exist with all of the Emotional Visiting Family Members. Comfort sustains us through all the trials, and if I am able to bring her along, I will always stay.