I've heard it said, "It's only through change that we grow." Earlier in my life, I misheard the quote and thought it said, "It's only through pain that we grow." As I have matured, I have a better understanding that change is unavoidable, but suffering is optional. The amount of pain I experience is directly related to my willingness to get out of the way and let God be God in my life.
Lately, I have been able to do that a little more. I am standing back and marveling at the wondrous changes that are occurring before my very eyes. Life is really good today, even amidst the challenging or aggravating experiences I am given day to day.
Dave has been offered a job with Pascagoula School District. (This is my district, even though I work in Gautier. Gautier and Pascagoula are both under one umbrella, which is great because in my opinion there are a ridiculous number of districts here. One superintendent could be paid to do what four are currently doing. ~Sorry... I digressed, even within parentheses.) He has started coaching with them during the Spring Football season. I don't know what to do with myself. The man has been home for dinner every night. At Moss Point, Dave was never home during football before 9:30 or 10:00 at night. I am positively elated at this change. He is happy too. He said the other morning when he got Sarah up to do her vest, he was looking at her and thinking, "When did this happen? When did she grow up?" Anyway, I believe this change will have a very positive impact on our home life during football season. I'm thrilled!
Yesterday, we went to our Homeowner's Grant meeting. We are eligible to receive a grant to help rebuild our home. We meet the qualifications of the program given that we had homeowner's insurance, but no flood insurance. Our primary damage was from the water in our home. Thus, we filled out all the paperwork and an adjuster will be meeting with us in 2 to 6 weeks to look at our home, our receipts and other information we can provide. We are so grateful to meet the qualifications of the grant. However, people need to understand that many people on the Coast do not meet the qualifications and are still having a rough time.
The girls are both doing well health-wise. Dan and Sarah both started to cough again a couple of weeks ago and I felt the fear and dread creeping over me. I have had to go back to a very simple prayer of asking God "only for His will for us and the power to carry that out". Affirming health, renunciating illness, and all the other things I have learned to do throughout my spiritual journey, were just making me feel very frantic. (This may come as a shock, but at times I can have control issues.) So, I have been asking God only for His will to be done and that I have the Power to carry that out through His daily guidance. Life has been much simpler. Any illusion of control I carried is gone and the girls are healthy again. When I get into one of my crazier spaces, I really think to myself, "If I were only more faithful and spiritual, my girls would be healed completely." Then, I begin a self-flogging ritual, attempting to control the spiritual healing process. This only helps to increase my awareness and focus on cystic fibrosis symptoms, which then leads me into wailing like Job. It is entirely a subconscious process, too. That makes it difficult for me to even notice I'm in the pattern. I'm like those planes stuck in holding patterns at the airport. I need a voice from air traffic control to kick in and help me go ahead and land. Anyway, I don't even know if that made the slightest bit of sense to anyone, but just know that I have returned to a simpler relationship with my Loving God and it is working for me today.
My principal, Dr. Catchings, sat me down this past week and told me that my classroom will need to be used by a returning kindergarten class. I share this classroom with Kara and Amy, my two fabulous co-teachers. We also have two assistant teachers who call the space home. This means that we will be displaced again next year. He has offered us a "classroom" on the stage. Now, don't get me wrong, I have always wanted to be on stage. My brother, Tom, dabbled in acting, and I have this really glamorous idea about life on stage. I am envisioning sequined gowns and feather boas every day. Still, the thought of not having a room again is a little stressful. I'll try not to get ahead of myself. I still have to get through the last two weeks of this school year.
I have lots to do today. I need to clean out the FEMA trailer so that they can come and pick it up. We were very grateful to have it, but we are also very grateful to see it go.
A couple of weeks ago, my wonderful friends from Unity joined us in painting our entire downstairs. It looks beautiful. We are working on finishing up the trim. My furniture is being delivered next weekend, and we are getting new french doors and a new front door next week too. I will post pictures when the furniture is in. The picture above is of the UPS (Unity Paint Squad). We are so grateful for their help and friendship. The photo was taken on Easter at church.
Namaste' ~ You are well loved.
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